In this time of the great Shift and extraordinary change, many people are looking for ways to heal their pasts, transform the relationships with themselves and others, and find their own path to personal power in their lives. As people search, they will discover various modalities from a variety of healers, teachers, therapists, life coaches, and spiritual and religious leaders.
The diversity of practices and practitioners available in the world can provide you with abundant opportunities to find the approach that resonates most closely with your goals and personal guidance; however, there is also the potential of engaging with healers or therapists who are (consciously or unconsciously) not genuinely aligned with your highest interests.
In this article, I want to share with you 10 tips that you can use as a guide for finding the healer, or team of healers, most appropriate for you. Remember, these are just guidelines that I hope will be helpful for you.
As a healer, teacher and guide, I know it takes an extraordinary commitment on the side of those who serve to be able to be fully available and channel the highest possibilities in a way that respects boundaries, keeps the energy and space clean, honors choice, and allows each person involved to move forward on their unique life paths with blessings.
Ultimately the choice is up to you with respect to who you work with. All I am offering are some suggestions that may be of help to you.
1. Look for someone who believes in you and empowers you.
The goal is for you to feel more vibrant, more empowered, more capable, happier, and healthier than you have before. There may be temporary setbacks and difficult periods of time as you clear yourself of your issues and discomforts; however, over time, the goal is for you to feel empowered. Yet, if every time you see your healer you feel bad about yourself, something may need to shift.
2. Look for someone who resonates with you.
Ask yourself, how does it feel to work with this person? Can I be truly authentic with this person? Do I feel this person can help me? Do I believe that working with this person will make a desirable difference in my life? Trust your instincts. Your intuition is just as important as the facts at hand when choosing your healer or mentor. Someone who is not known at all can be more effective and a better match for you than someone who is world renowned. It depends on the mutual resonance and vibration.
3. Look for someone who has credentials, education, or relevant experience.
There is nothing wrong with self-education or getting messages directly from Spirit. This is entirely possible and, indeed, very desirable; however, some education through an accredited institution, or relevant, real-life experience are important factors if one wishes to be a teacher. Healers and teachers must first work through their own issues before they can help others. Otherwise, they may project their own internal struggles onto you. This can manifest new challenges in your life that leave you wondering where these blocks came from.
4. Look for someone who loves what they do.
For someone to help you ignite your fire, they must have ignited theirs. If they don’t love what they do, how can they help you? There is a difference between knowing or analyzing a craft, and authentically walking your talk. Working with someone who is “ignited” means that he or she is dedicated to living his or her life authentically, on purpose, and with passion. Only then can they be of service to you in the same way.
5. Avoid those who instill fear in you or exert their power as an “expert”.
Fear-based medicine and people who use power to control your actions, thoughts, and feelings are detrimental to your health and well-being. If your teacher says, “You should really do this, or else…” I suggest you look for someone else. And when someone gives you the feeling that they know better than you because they are the “expert”, run for the hills. They may well have great opinions and guidance that you did not previously have access to (this is why you pay them); however, it is generally safe to say that no one person knows “better than” you about your life! Think about it, it’s your life! Whatever they say has to resonate with you. if you healer or teacher is more about being right rather than being of service to you the best way they can, it may be time to look for someone else. Of course, the person you are working with may have his or her opinion, and she or he is allowed to do so. They are just as valid as yours. Just not more valid than yours.
6. Stay away from anyone who uses guilt to get you to do what they like.
“I have spent all this time on you so far and I really think that you have benefited a great deal…” Stay away from anyone who uses guilt, and pay attention to what makes you feel guilty! There may be a piece of healing that needs to be done on your end. Yet, if a coach or mentor has a way of making you feel guilty about things, I suggest you look for someone who knows how to express their disapproval without instilling guilt.
7. Stay away from those who create co-dependency.
Someone who makes you feel that you need him or her in order to heal is probably either unhealed or not consciously practicing the highest of intentions and ethics. Remember, you have the power to heal yourself. Miracles are possible, and the goal is to empower you to be able to do your own self-healing and empowerment. You have choices rather than a need.
8. Look for someone who can take honest feedback and rejection.
When you are on your healing path, there is no room for defensiveness, passive-aggressiveness, or otherwise hard feelings from your coach or mentor. Your agenda is your coach’s agenda, so if something doesn’t resonate with you, your coach has to be able to hear it.
9. Look for someone who is willing to refer you to others when your needs warrant it.
No one is an expert in everything. Knowing where you can help someone and where you cannot is a sign of an authentic coach, healer, or mentor. If someone refuses to refer you, or wrinkles their nose at the idea of you working with someone else, that is a red flag. Any authentic coach has to allow you to build a team around you that can support you on your path.
10. Be wary of people who are set in their ways and have set beliefs about people or the world.
Coaches who say “Well, it takes time to heal” or “People with your background have diabetes written all over them…” are poisonous for your soul. In truth, there is no “People like you”. You are entirely unique, and by projecting other people’s qualities onto you they are not making it easier for you to be your authentic self. If a statistic says that 98 percent of people with your cancer die, and your healer believes it too, then look for someone who sees the two percent that survive. Of course in this situation, this person cannot make many promises-there are no guarantees. But it is important to work with someone who sees possibilities, not probabilities.
So there you have it. I hope that my tips provide a bit more clarity when choosing your next healer, teacher, mentor, or life coach. As always, my goal is to be of service to you. So remember, above all, trust your gut. Nobody knows you better than you!